Guidelines for Restarting a Relationship

Broken Relationships

Broken relationships are a part of every person’s life. The sorrow that usually accompanies a break-up will, hopefully, make the joy of a new relationship even greater. However, there are times when you may realize that having ended a relationship was a mistake. This is an issue that a large number of people are now facing – the COVID-19 lockdown has caused us all to spend more time at home than ever before and with fewer distractions, the mind tends to look back at the past. If this has happened to you and you now realize that you genuinely want to rekindle a lost relationship, you need to go about it in the right way.

  • Be Sure of What You Want:
    Be sure that rekindling the relationship is what you really want. If your desire to restart arises out of loneliness, frustration or other such emotions, your motives are not right. To understand yourself better and to be sure that you are doing the right thing, get professional counselling.
  • Start a Dialogue:
    Get in touch with the one you lost and start talking to her. Do not put any pressure on her to restart the relationship. Be casual and let things take their own course. If you feel that there is still a spark, then you can slowly start to make your feelings and desires clear.
  • Be Clear About Your Intentions:
    Once you feel that you can make your intentions known, be clear about them. Any strong relationship is built on a foundation of honesty. Your old partner may still harbour feelings of hurt and pain so do not expect her to respond the way you expect. Give her time to be sure of her feelings and if she shows positivity, you can both start to take things further.
  • Healing Takes Time:
    The pain of the past cannot be forgotten in a day. Healing takes time and you both may heal at different speeds and in different ways. Give her time and space to heal in her own way without pressure from you. All you can do is be supportive.
  • Do Not Place Blame:
    The past is over. Assigning blame for what went wrong in the past may cause it to happen again.
  • Take Responsibility:
    Look at yourself and understand the mistakes you made. Take responsibility for them and apologize. This will let your partner know that you do not want the past to repeat itself.
  • Get Professional Help:
    Being objective and looking at the whole picture, including the positives and negatives and the mistakes both of you have made is critical for having a realistic appraisal of where you both stand; it will also help in finding ways to overcome the issues that broke your relationship in the past. This requires the guidance, help and support of a professional counsellor who will be able to help both of you find the path to your future together. Online counselling is the most effective and convenient way to get the help you need. You can have individual counselling sessions or joint ones where both of you along with the counsellor will find ways to overcome the obstacles that confront you.