Age is a calculation formed by human beings, animals and plants do not know or worry about it. Humans have memories and expectation from the relationships. However time and space cannot be stopped, situations keep changing, emotional battles are fought each day. Parents try to keep pace with youngsters and want to feel useful and wanted by the children, their immediate family, as there is no other relationship that is maintained.
Why are they struggling, feel neglected or ignored by their children?
They cannot be themselves or feel the aging process as they are often afraid of being isolated by the society. They feel compelled to be active and create an illusion of being young. Where is the sensitivity gone in today s society to share their love and regards for older generation?
The irony of life for them is they gave the best education to the children, worked hard post independence to save wealth for the family and yet are sad and longing to feel wanted by the young ones.
In Asian countries there was a place for the elders, people valued their experience and wisdom, hence there was no insecurity among the aging parents.
Aging mother “I went to Dallas to my daughter’s house to help her out with her baby and family chorus, i was so happy to be of some use to them although my health started deteriorating. I did not mind the physical pain, not even them not so appreciative of my service but the rude words and insensitive behavior made me age faster and I came back totally dejected and a failure as i do not remember to have passed on such a culture to my daughter”. Aging mother wants to buy love through her service.
Parents “I am sure our son will come to see us this year. They wait to see the child they raised with love and care as the mother never had a career to pursue, her focus was on the child. Our daughter in law whom we welcomed home as our daughter, why is she stopping our son from visiting us? What have we done wrong? Father ” We are aging, may be they do not want us to depend on them too much”. It is sensible for us to be happy that we could give the best for our children and withdraw from their lives. Times have changes dear. People do not want responsibilities and accountability, the psyche has turned very self centered hence the death of the conscience.”
This is the situation of old age after investing their entire lives on the children, what will be the condition of old age in the future where parents are still trying to balance their career and home?
Underprivileged aging parents are in bad conditions and they need emotional help, somebody to express and share their love. It is one thing to expect love from relationships, it is harder not being able to share the compassion and love with your dear ones.